Wilhelmina's Web Sundae with All the Toppings

Monday, November 27, 2006

NCIS Is Still The One to BEAT


Listen you little horse-monkeys! NCIS is still the best show on t.v.! You should watch my fucking show you scatter-brained nose-picking scum worms!

I won't sit idly by while you waste your life on shows like the Amazing Race (more like the Amazing Waste of Time!) or whatever the fuck you are watching! Watch the show and you won't be a king-sized roto-rooting anal-beast any longer!


I'm the REAL Mark Harmon! I know my shit!

Friday, October 20, 2006

felin gruvy

im almist outa hear. work sux. gota rime for U.

buh buh buh buh
kick my rimes tite
like a gerbil's snatch
runin red lites
while U run off a batch
of my favrit popcorn
butter sauce
buttah watch out
cuz im a
thats tite
i rite lik i talk it
gooie and pussie
like a boil's been popped

word to the pickles.

Monday, October 09, 2006

nigel is atit agin

yeh nigel is atit agin he went on an al nite jerk binge and blew his sikining yelow jizz al ovr teh plastic covered couches in my grandmoehters family rum. it wuz sik an my granfather who doesnt C 2 gud he sat in it an watched Flavor of Love 2 all last nite.


nigel neds 2 b punisched for his deplarible beehuvior.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

yo hey im da bee 2 da atch

no wons notissed, but i hav reinvented myslef as a wrappr. let me bust my rimes on you all.

its delish
got my pmpd out snack cracker boxes
all up unside my tuna taco
im lik bones muhkoy on
star drek dig
sukin and blowin
on the Entrprise brig
chiklits n chikin
my bref smels gud
lik a minty turkey
on a BMW hood
its delish
i poop my pants
i repreznt
hershey bars and peanuts
check out deez nuts
on my chin


Monday, September 18, 2006

i am the gulag archipelago

im a wraper chek out my rimes

i am a hooptie
rockin da mic
like suckin on
an aisan ta's
uh uh uh
i am girl u kno
like the gulag archipelago


im like biggie and tupack all roled in2 1.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

hapy labour day

happy labour day evrywon. im bac frm my trip 2 teh south pacific. i hyung out in thailand for a while and then made a be line for the suez canal. after that, i stopd by juarez, mexico for a drink of strawbery wine ontop of the dunes facing east, wehre i pissd myself so badly i had 2 b taken 2 teh hospital.

anywy, im bak an betr than ever. but im havng a hrd time geting bak in2 teh swing of tihngs, if u follow my drift.

itll b a newd semester this upcming semester an i cunt wait for id 2 start.

did i tel u taht i got married? wel, tahts a story for another day.

not taht anyonw is reeding tihs website anymore.


c ya wuldnt want 2 b ya.


Sunday, July 02, 2006

4thof jily

heya :-p...

hapy 4thof jily evrywon. nobudys at werk so i guiss taht 2day is the 4thof jily. 2day we celebrate the miracal of xmas when juesus saved evrywon from the hands of the briticsch. then the british nailed Him to a cross an then jesus farted an flew to teh moon but he returdn 40 nights later an beat the devil back an then signed the declirashun of indpndince relly, relly large but he sined it JOHN HANDONCOCK.

i got out of skool erly 2day cuz its sunday. the principle of my college sez i havta stay late on sundays so taht i cleen the blackboard but all we end up doing is givin him oral sex. i wuz told taht collleges dont even hav principaels but this guy swears on a stack of bihbbles taht its true.

but he sez he cam down wit sum sorta rash round his privates an he was coffing preddy hard so he culdnt make it 2day.

well, hapy 4th of july. i cant wait 2 see wht the eester bunny left under the menorah for me this yer.